An Unsuspected Writer

Since some of you don't know me and I don't know some of you, I thought I'd give some background on how I got into writing! And even if you do know me, some of these things may surprise you too!!

When I was younger I read books, thanks to my wonderful parents caring about me and loving me, I read about the dog named Biscuit, Nancy Drew, Clifford the big red dog, Curious George takes a job, Curious George visits the zoo, Junie B Jones, Magic tree house, etc, I read all sorts of books, but as I got older... the books I read were all school related and I struggled to find books I actually enjoyed. I'm more of an active person, I enjoy the outdoors, and nature, etc. I'm not one to cuddle up in my room and read for hours, though I definitely made time to cuddle up in my room and read the bible, maybe not for hours, but that's one book I could read and enjoy reading. But I am so grateful that I can read and do read! And, update, I've found books I actually do enjoy (most of them being related to christianity and faith, but those are the best kinds, right?)!! Anyways, when I was probably about 9-13, I wrote A LOT of papers for school, and I enjoyed it, but I never felt it was good enough, I wanted it to be better, I always wondered why I couldn't write what was in my head! I wanted to be the best writer in my class, I wanted to do good, I wanted to write a FLAWLESS paper with perfect punctuation, including commas, and semicolons, etc. Haha, that's a lot to ask of a 9 year old, or even a 13 year old. Were any of my papers ever flawless? No. My mom has got lots of years of editing under her belt, and I definitely did not have the best attitude at times when she would gently and lovingly add those commas, or fix that sentence that made no sense to anyone, not even me, and I wrote it. So yes, I've always loved writing, I had diaries, journals, I wrote an eighteen page paper when I was about 12, I enjoyed it, but I didn't feel like I was good enough at it... Not because of my mom, not because of my sister, who is three years older than me, and I would always hear her papers, and they sounded amazing, but because, I never had a flawless paper. And I still never do today. I had an impossible goal and I still do that to myself today, set impossible goals, and try to achieve them. So, I had considered beginning a blog for quite a while, but I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if I could. Would I have the right words, would they be enough, what if it wasn't right, or I didn't have a comma where it was supposed to be? I wanted it all to be perfect. But thankfully, God showed up, where I was trying to fill His spot. He showed me that if it's meant to be He will empower me to do it. I knew He was with me and is with me. When I first started my blog I wondered and feared, "what if no one sees it, what if it isn't good, what if I'm not good?" And you know what I've realized is this, God is going to bring the people who need to hear what I say to these blogs, and it isn't me, it's God speaking through me. It's His work. I'm the clay. He is going to use this the way He wants to, even if one person sees a blog post, I've done what I was called to do, write what's on my heart, what He has put on my heart, and share it with who I can. And God will bring my posts to those who need it. Views don't matter, it doesn't define me, or how good I am. And without God, haha I'm not good at anything. I love writing, I love writing about God, I love seeing it apply to my own life, sometimes its like I'm writing to myself. So, there's a "brief" synopsis of how it all started, it reminds me of Moses with God, thinking he wasn't good enough.

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

Exodus 4:10-13

I had to learn that if its Gods will He will make it happen and He will equip you for what He's purposed you. Believe that today, its easy to convince yourself that you aren't enough, and that whatever God is calling you to, you aren't or won't be good at, the enemy is trying to prohibit God's plan from prevailing. I've learned that God will use me the way He wants to and bring who needs whatever I write to it. It's His words anyways, I'm just the mouth and mind He is using :)

I never thought I'd be a writer or do anything with writing. But after some long Instagram stories that were all about God, but possibly too small for some people to read, I started this blog, and it's been a joy to write all of these posts. So here I am, this is where I am right now. I'm not sure if this will always be something in my life, but I know it is for now.