Despite My Greatest Efforts

Disappointments. They come in many ways. One way that we can be disappointed is with answers. People give us an answer we don't like all the time. I've been disappointed by peoples answers several times, especially when it's not what I want to hear.

Writing is something that helps me destress, let go, and get things off my chest. This includes journaling. What started as a journal entry to voice my disappointment or dissatisfaction in God's answers recently turned into thankfulness.

We can all look back at a time and think of when our parents disappointed us with their answers. They didn't tell us yes when we wanted them to. They told us "no" for seemingly no reason. We don't like these answers that go against what we want. But what I've learned is, it was for the best.

As I journaled, I voiced my frustrations and disappointments, but then I started writing out a prayer, and then I started thanking God. So here's what I'm learning, digesting, being reminded of, and I hope it does just the same for you!

We all have our own plan and timelines in our minds. What we forget is that He has His plan and timeline as well. What we try to do is make the two line up, but more often than not, they just don't. Trying to rush God's plan so it matches my timeline, always ends in disaster and frustration. You're trying to make something happen before He intended it to. Stop. His way is better. He knows what He's doing, in all things. We often try to blame God when we are disappointed and we believe He intentionally disappointed us. Know this. No father wants to disappoint or let down their child. No parent enjoys disappointing their children. We are His children, He is the perfect Father. When He says no, it's not because He enjoys disappointing us. When He says wait, it's not because He is withholding good. He says no because He knows what's best for you. He says wait because He knows there's something better. There's something worth waiting for. He's not withholding good from you. He's being a good Father, the best there is. Protecting you from the bad, awaiting the better, holding you through the aching "no's" and the anxious "wait's." There's more behind the curtain than what you see. Be thankful that He loves you enough to tell you "no" or "wait," as any parent does, He loves you enough that He doesn't just tell you yes, because it's what you want. Rather, He tells you no or wait, despite the disappointment we may feel towards Him or His answer, because it's what we need. Any parent hurts when their child hurts. To think of all the times my parents told me no or wait, even when that's not what I wanted... it didn't please them to tell me no, but they knew it was best. They saw things I didn't. He says "no" or "wait" even though He knows it' might hurt. But, He loves me enough to not just say "yes," because He knows that'd hurt me more. God is NOT withholding good from you, in fact, He is holding out for the better to come. He sees the whole picture, you see a sliver.

I came to this humbling place of repeating, "Despite my greatest efforts, Thy will be done." So no matter what I want, no matter how hard I try to make that happen, I'm praying His will be done and mine doesn't. That if my will and His doesn't match up (which they usually don't) that His will would happen and mine would be discarded. Because His way is best. It's easier said than done, but I pray you would come to this place with whatever situation you're in. It's not what we want to hear, because where we are might not be where we want to be, but it might be where we need to be. Trust Him, put His will over yours, know that He is doing and want what is best for you. You have a good, good Father.