Embracing the Unknown

I was taking care of one of the little boys I nanny and we were doing an alphabet puzzle. There was a moment where he said "help, Sky." But I tried to talk him through flipping the letter over, turning it right side up, and fitting it where it was supposed to be. He was sad and frustrated, as any child would be, because he didn't understand. He hid the letter, not to be silly, but because he didn't want to deal with that letter in the moment. Eventually, we got the letter in the right place, and finished the puzzle. I remember growing up and both my parents trying to teach me math, it was a challenge. I didn't learn or grasp certain concepts the way my parents did, or any of my siblings did. I had a completely different learning style, but both of my parents teaching and learning styles didn't match my learning style. I hated math, not because it was hard, but because I didn't understand. I just wanted to understand. But, I didn't want to do math because I didn't understand. Just like the little boy didn't want to use that letter because he didn't understand. In these moments, I realized, God doesn't allow us to understand every area of our lives. Sometimes He asks us to walk in faith. To step even in the uncertainty. To hold onto that letter a little while longer, and trust that it does fit into the puzzle. To try the concept one more time, because eventually it'll make sense. I wonder how often I don't understand things and just try to overlook, ignore, avoid, or become frustrated with them?

We do not need to understand every part of life, if we did, we wouldn't need faith. Some of the sweetest, most powerful moments, are when we choose to step even when we don't understand. When we choose obedience in the unknown. How sweet that is! To choose to obey even when we don't understand, but we do it anyway, because we trust the One who is omniscient. Who is sovereign. The One who leads us to and through all things. I can look back on my life and see all of the moments I took steps out of obedience, trust, and faith in Him. All I see is faithfulness. I can also look back and remember moments where I chose not to step, because I didn't understand. I like to know the whys and the reason behind things. I like clear plans and clear outcomes. I think ahead and plan ahead. The moments I chose not to step, only resulted in frustration, confusion, and chaos. Not stepping was one of the worst things I could have chosen. It was me trying to control what I could and it was my stubbornness, "I won't move until I know the outcome." It was in my disobedience that the Lord reminded me that disobedience is just a lack of trust, faith, and surrender. I didn't believe that the Lord wanted and was doing what was best for me. I didn't trust that I could walk when He asked me to, even if I didn't know what was ahead. The beauty of not knowing is that we can rest in the fact that He does know and we get to increase our faith. So all the what ifs and whys and questions, He's already there. He knows the outcome. So when He asks me to step without understanding; trust, faith, and surrender must be present for obedience to follow. It's like when you tell a child not to touch a hot pan, yet they have to do it anyways. Why? Maybe a lack of trust, faith, or surrender. They also just don't like being told what to do, but who does? I think that's in all of us and we can act that same way with God. He tells us no or asks us to step, even if we don't understand the "why" or the outcome. But our flesh and culture continue to hammer into us, "you do you." This idea that you get to do what you want to do, no one gets to tell you otherwise, just live your life.

If we live the way we wanted, we'd miss the best He has for us. If our desires don't match up with His and we fight for our wants, rather than consider our needs, we end up exhausted and frustrated. The Lord knows what we truly need, we need to trust that no matter the outcome, His way is best.